is there a job that I could get where someone paid me money to watch TV shows all day. I'm an addict and I confess and acknowledge that. But I'm so happy living on my couch, that I don't want to get up unless it's a walk to the kitchen.
On a good day, there is romance and intrigue, with great looking men and women whose TV lives are so much more interesting that the plan to launch a soap. There is mystery that needs demystifying, men who need to be emotionally rescued and murderers that are cops by day. I'm part of the housewives in Austaria lane, and I know what's up with the doctores at Seattle Grace. Gossip Girl gives me the page 6 update, and I've got all the family - brothers and sisters. I laugh, cry, think, imagine, feel...
So what's the problem?
Well, I love the couch! Its my happy place and I could stay there, never feeling lonely or wanting to meet anyone for days at end. I'm happy in my socially isolated hole, with remotes, the people on screen for company, and my blackberry for when I feel the need to know of the real world and real people. Birthdays, weddings, lunches and dinners could by in real life, I'm doing it all in reel life!
Which brings me to my latest circular wandering thread: technology may be making the world flatter, but just like anything curved when straightened occupies more length, we're now physically separated by a large space of zeros and ones. We know what's going on in our homes and lives - is there a need to chat? We see pictures of everything online immediately - is there a need to meet? We chat online, on bbm, gtalk all the time - is there anything left to say?
we may have exhausted all our thoughts for the day on twitter, but McDreamy and Macallister have a few more episodes to go. They're calling. gtg. Tc
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Fear & Loathing in the 'burbs
A new kind of fear has taken over us lately. By us, I'm referring to women that travel using public transport at all times of the day, and sometimes, at all times in the night. Some of us who work jobs that demand of us to get onto lonely roads - highways and streets - coming back from the airport, working late in the office, going to an event set up, coming back from an event set up. There was a time, not so long ago, we were confident even at 3 am and the streets of Bombay gave us a sense of security and safety.
The gutsiness has become passe, and is replaced by a sense of dread. Constant viligence, checking on the rickshaw that's coming too close on the right or the bike that's driving along too close to comfort, has now replaced the feeling of ease and calm on a journey back home after a long, tiring work day. The stress of the day continues into the night - a stiffer neck, with laptops and bags strung around it, hoping that no male hand extends into the running rickshaw on the road and snatches them away. Eyes that dart with alertness, left to right, right to left, and try desperately to check the rear view to catch a glimpse of a follower, just to be prepared.
Earlier it was only the highway. Take care when your coming back from the airport, they said. There's a nexus between rickshaw wallas and bikers. Today, it apprears that the nexus has established its headquaters much closer to home. Main roads in the surburbs of Khar / Bandra have at least one new dramatic story a day - some of them based only a few meters away from the police stations. Earlier precaution set in only late into the nights, when there were not too many cars on the highway. Today, time no longer poses to be a limitation. Early hours of the morning through the early hours of the night are all the same.
The police, of course, cant help. Why did you not see their faces? Why did you not see the number on the bike - sure, saab, i should have concentrated on just that while they were snatching my bag instead of screaming and shouting out of sheer shock and holding onto whatever i could to save my stuff. Because my stuff contains not only money and my house keys and my wallet and all my cards that i'll have to cancel through the night, but it has all my songs on my ipod, it has pictures of my family tucked into the side of my wallet, my lucky twenty dollars - a little part of my life lies inside my handbag. By the way, where were you all this time? Or am I not even allowed to ask...
Personally, I feel violated. Like someone came in, and took something away from my soul, leaving me feeling helpless, nervous and discomforted. My only option lies in being more careful, not carrying too much money, not travelling alone, not travelling late, not wearing any jewellery or better yet, buying my own car.
So one year later, while we worry about the terrorists and march out on the road, my advice to the women out there - be careful. Hold your bag close to you. Keep your cellphone out of sight. We dont live in a safe city anymore. Its not the Bombay that was carefree and spirited and took care of its women. We're truly becoming Mumbai, nasty and mean, dull and disdained, crude and cheap. Jai Hind.
The gutsiness has become passe, and is replaced by a sense of dread. Constant viligence, checking on the rickshaw that's coming too close on the right or the bike that's driving along too close to comfort, has now replaced the feeling of ease and calm on a journey back home after a long, tiring work day. The stress of the day continues into the night - a stiffer neck, with laptops and bags strung around it, hoping that no male hand extends into the running rickshaw on the road and snatches them away. Eyes that dart with alertness, left to right, right to left, and try desperately to check the rear view to catch a glimpse of a follower, just to be prepared.
Earlier it was only the highway. Take care when your coming back from the airport, they said. There's a nexus between rickshaw wallas and bikers. Today, it apprears that the nexus has established its headquaters much closer to home. Main roads in the surburbs of Khar / Bandra have at least one new dramatic story a day - some of them based only a few meters away from the police stations. Earlier precaution set in only late into the nights, when there were not too many cars on the highway. Today, time no longer poses to be a limitation. Early hours of the morning through the early hours of the night are all the same.
The police, of course, cant help. Why did you not see their faces? Why did you not see the number on the bike - sure, saab, i should have concentrated on just that while they were snatching my bag instead of screaming and shouting out of sheer shock and holding onto whatever i could to save my stuff. Because my stuff contains not only money and my house keys and my wallet and all my cards that i'll have to cancel through the night, but it has all my songs on my ipod, it has pictures of my family tucked into the side of my wallet, my lucky twenty dollars - a little part of my life lies inside my handbag. By the way, where were you all this time? Or am I not even allowed to ask...
Personally, I feel violated. Like someone came in, and took something away from my soul, leaving me feeling helpless, nervous and discomforted. My only option lies in being more careful, not carrying too much money, not travelling alone, not travelling late, not wearing any jewellery or better yet, buying my own car.
So one year later, while we worry about the terrorists and march out on the road, my advice to the women out there - be careful. Hold your bag close to you. Keep your cellphone out of sight. We dont live in a safe city anymore. Its not the Bombay that was carefree and spirited and took care of its women. We're truly becoming Mumbai, nasty and mean, dull and disdained, crude and cheap. Jai Hind.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Changes 101
A rally like never before, with unprecendented numbers of people took place at the Gateway of India. A peace march; a prayer meet; a show of solidarity; an angry city coming together to demand answers from the government. Other cities too had people coming together at the same time - to show the spirit of unity still holds strong. Promises that we'll continue to keep asking for security against terror till we feel safe again. A nation risen.
While we wait for actions from the government, for new equipment to reach our armed forces and our policemen, and for new reforms in our intelligence agencies - lets talk about our local police - the men and women that come to work everyday to protect the law and order of our city.
Over the course of the 60 hours, we mocked them like never before. We were aghast when they ran away from terrorists shooting at them with AK-47s. We blamed them for the lack of security we felt and for allowing terrorists to run amock in the city. We chastised them for not being able to shoot and kill the bad guys. And once again, we called them useless.
Then we realised that it wasnt fair - to expect a man who is not equipped, neither physically, mentallly or with proper machineary to come to the forefront and take the sureshot bullet coming his way in a vest and hat meant for riots. So now, we decided that he needs better equipment, and he needs to be better trained. We filed a PIL. But will the new shiny gun change the way we look at the pot bellied pandu who stands at the signal?
This is where the change needs to start. In our perspective. As a people, we dont respect our police force, neither do we respect the basic law and order in our land. We bribe them, taking advantage of their poverty, with a meagre twenty rupees to save a ticket fine. Even when we knowingly break signals, enter one way streets in the wrong direction, park in no parking zones and do all the other things that we know are wrong, that cause public hindrance but are so convinient at that moment. We ignore requests to register our domestic workers, we continue to employ children below the legal working age. We prefer daily wage workers at our factories, they save cost to company. Therein lies our complete selfishness. That has to be Change 101.
Respect for the law and the people who are meant to protect it has to start at home with each one of us. The smallest bribe, the smallest misdemeanour are still offences. Lets take responsibility for our actions and follow procedures & precautions, and when necessary accept fines & punishments as deemed. Only then will that pandu rise above the cliche and become a policeman. One that will not only take care of the petty complaints and passport verifications, but one that will out of duty and regard for a society that respects and shows its forces gratitude, risk his life to save ours.
While we wait for actions from the government, for new equipment to reach our armed forces and our policemen, and for new reforms in our intelligence agencies - lets talk about our local police - the men and women that come to work everyday to protect the law and order of our city.
Over the course of the 60 hours, we mocked them like never before. We were aghast when they ran away from terrorists shooting at them with AK-47s. We blamed them for the lack of security we felt and for allowing terrorists to run amock in the city. We chastised them for not being able to shoot and kill the bad guys. And once again, we called them useless.
Then we realised that it wasnt fair - to expect a man who is not equipped, neither physically, mentallly or with proper machineary to come to the forefront and take the sureshot bullet coming his way in a vest and hat meant for riots. So now, we decided that he needs better equipment, and he needs to be better trained. We filed a PIL. But will the new shiny gun change the way we look at the pot bellied pandu who stands at the signal?
This is where the change needs to start. In our perspective. As a people, we dont respect our police force, neither do we respect the basic law and order in our land. We bribe them, taking advantage of their poverty, with a meagre twenty rupees to save a ticket fine. Even when we knowingly break signals, enter one way streets in the wrong direction, park in no parking zones and do all the other things that we know are wrong, that cause public hindrance but are so convinient at that moment. We ignore requests to register our domestic workers, we continue to employ children below the legal working age. We prefer daily wage workers at our factories, they save cost to company. Therein lies our complete selfishness. That has to be Change 101.
Respect for the law and the people who are meant to protect it has to start at home with each one of us. The smallest bribe, the smallest misdemeanour are still offences. Lets take responsibility for our actions and follow procedures & precautions, and when necessary accept fines & punishments as deemed. Only then will that pandu rise above the cliche and become a policeman. One that will not only take care of the petty complaints and passport verifications, but one that will out of duty and regard for a society that respects and shows its forces gratitude, risk his life to save ours.
"You must become the change you want to be" - Gandhiji
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Quotable Qoute
Expecting life to treat you fairly because you're a good person islike expecting an angry bull not to charge at you because you're vegetarian.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Aftermath & Afterthoughts I
Aftermath
Immediately, security has become our biggest concern. Talks about a modern police force, NSG for states other than just for Delhi, better training and equipment, heightened security at hotels are everywhere. But if we really think about it, these are all short term solutions (even thou in a country like ours, even their implementation will take a half a century.) Our problem is understanding that this is not a local, state level, or even national situation - its a change in the way we look at security and the way we regard human life. Every single one of us. In our very conciousness.
As an immediate action, security at hotels has been beefed up. Security at airports has been beefed up. Security at malls has been beefed up. Is that really a viable solution - Can a couple of armed gaurds prevent 10 fanatics with machine guns from taking lives? Not only is that answer obvious, we have to understand that it cant be implemented across the board. Every school, every train station, every market place, every theatre, every bar is still open to attack... we cant cover them all, we shouldnt have to cover them all.
The approach has to be bigger & broader - bottom up and top down and meeting at the center at which u and me sit. At the topmost level intelligence, its monitoring, and ensuring that its used optimally starts the process. People to make sure that it isnt put into a file and slid into a stack of reports follow. Army and NSG available swifty if needed. Modernisation of weapons and training of local forces. All of this needs to happen, together & hand in hand - failure at any of these levels will stem the next rounds of disaster.
Afterthought
For the first time, the common Mumbaikar has emotions laced with rage lashing out against the way our cores have been attacked. Everyone wants answers. Everyone wants someone to take responsibility and ensure that this does not happen again. Everyone understands the need of ensuring that the mechanisms in place need to be revamped, modernised and most importantly passed through regular check and accountibilty tests. The question that we all ask is - HOW?
Where does the commom man go if he feels that the people in the estates of the judiciary & legislative are not doing their jobs? He cant - one controls the other and they're both power seeking. Besides, u and me would never get a chance to even get close to anyone worth anything past the z-security and the lines of PR command. So then is the fourth estate the commom man's voice? Nah, they're usually busy with telecasting celebrity voice - cause u and me want to watch exactly just that.
Aftermath & Afterthought
Nothing I've thought or felt is unique to me. All of us feel this way today. But how long before the Reliance stock price, the credit crunch, the next production problem, or the next sales report, replaces the images from the last two days. All of us also understand the need of the hour - better systems and more accountability. But how do we even start the come together to make that happen? We're anyways a very cynical and disgruntled bunch. Will we once again in a few weeks say - fuck it, they're all the same; forget it man, how the hell are u going to ask what happened to the report when no one is going to discuss national security with u and me; how do we find out what the government plans to do, at the local level, at the state level, at the central level - will that information be shared with me? how do i have the confidence its going to amount to something? its pointless..
Three days after the attacks, I'm already thinking these things.. i'm scared that this is going to ebb away soon. But i'm going to make every effort to ensure it doenst - and the thoughts that circle in my head stay there, focussed even in their disarray. Meanwhile if some one can tell me what I can do to help, I'm all ears.
Immediately, security has become our biggest concern. Talks about a modern police force, NSG for states other than just for Delhi, better training and equipment, heightened security at hotels are everywhere. But if we really think about it, these are all short term solutions (even thou in a country like ours, even their implementation will take a half a century.) Our problem is understanding that this is not a local, state level, or even national situation - its a change in the way we look at security and the way we regard human life. Every single one of us. In our very conciousness.
As an immediate action, security at hotels has been beefed up. Security at airports has been beefed up. Security at malls has been beefed up. Is that really a viable solution - Can a couple of armed gaurds prevent 10 fanatics with machine guns from taking lives? Not only is that answer obvious, we have to understand that it cant be implemented across the board. Every school, every train station, every market place, every theatre, every bar is still open to attack... we cant cover them all, we shouldnt have to cover them all.
The approach has to be bigger & broader - bottom up and top down and meeting at the center at which u and me sit. At the topmost level intelligence, its monitoring, and ensuring that its used optimally starts the process. People to make sure that it isnt put into a file and slid into a stack of reports follow. Army and NSG available swifty if needed. Modernisation of weapons and training of local forces. All of this needs to happen, together & hand in hand - failure at any of these levels will stem the next rounds of disaster.
Afterthought
For the first time, the common Mumbaikar has emotions laced with rage lashing out against the way our cores have been attacked. Everyone wants answers. Everyone wants someone to take responsibility and ensure that this does not happen again. Everyone understands the need of ensuring that the mechanisms in place need to be revamped, modernised and most importantly passed through regular check and accountibilty tests. The question that we all ask is - HOW?
Where does the commom man go if he feels that the people in the estates of the judiciary & legislative are not doing their jobs? He cant - one controls the other and they're both power seeking. Besides, u and me would never get a chance to even get close to anyone worth anything past the z-security and the lines of PR command. So then is the fourth estate the commom man's voice? Nah, they're usually busy with telecasting celebrity voice - cause u and me want to watch exactly just that.
Aftermath & Afterthought
Nothing I've thought or felt is unique to me. All of us feel this way today. But how long before the Reliance stock price, the credit crunch, the next production problem, or the next sales report, replaces the images from the last two days. All of us also understand the need of the hour - better systems and more accountability. But how do we even start the come together to make that happen? We're anyways a very cynical and disgruntled bunch. Will we once again in a few weeks say - fuck it, they're all the same; forget it man, how the hell are u going to ask what happened to the report when no one is going to discuss national security with u and me; how do we find out what the government plans to do, at the local level, at the state level, at the central level - will that information be shared with me? how do i have the confidence its going to amount to something? its pointless..
Three days after the attacks, I'm already thinking these things.. i'm scared that this is going to ebb away soon. But i'm going to make every effort to ensure it doenst - and the thoughts that circle in my head stay there, focussed even in their disarray. Meanwhile if some one can tell me what I can do to help, I'm all ears.
Friday, November 28, 2008
When Mumbai Hurts
Its been 2 days & like the average Mumbai person, I was switching channels and saw the first reports of the attacks in South Bombay. I live in Bandra, and was safe and I stayed up the night watching the news - telecast after telecast, report after report of the madness that was destroying the peace of the night. It seemed to start of like just another terrorist attack, and the next day the average Mumbai citizen would have expected it to be another day to brave - another day at work. For once, the life we take for granted, decided to mess with us. This was not just another attack. This one struck very close to home, in places we spend time with family, in places we get married and above all, in a building that despite the cliche, is loved and is iconic, that stands proud by the sea. Oh i love that building, every chandelier, every little seating corner, the carved swing near the elevators, every wodden bench that is polished every day. And the people that it takes to make it stay that way - courteous, helpful and giving us a glimpse of the best hospitality the city has to offer. The Taj was special - and we allowed the fanatics to take it away.
Lives were lost. That night, I didnt know anyone in either of the hotels, or the CST or Leopolds. Thank God! BUT i do know people who knew people there - who have lost loved ones, children, parents, families, friends, staff, livelihoods and each of them have a story that will affect them for the rest of their lives. And I also know enough people, who like me go to these palces. And this time, I refuse to say that the spirit of Mumbai will prevail caues thats the way we are.. thats just a load of crap. Why do we ignore the reality and go back to our daily business the next day? Why dont we take the time to stop and feel? Its time that this becomes personal to each one of us - we could have been there! Will it only make a difference when it actually happens to us directly?
We blame our ministers for everything - damn it they deserve to be blamed for everything. Whether its the Congress, the BJP, the NDA the whoever, they're all the same. But whoever it is at the center and the state needs to fix this - and I really dont care who. JUST FIX IT.
We cant stop terrorists, they exist and they will strike. Thats what they do. They have their reasons and while it would be great to stop them, we can only control that so much. And whats the point of anti terror laws - u think these fanatics care about speedy death? They are on a suicidal mission, they are there to die, creating mayhem as it comes to them. So then about what we can actually fix - I cant comment on the intelligence agencies and how they work and intercept these missions. Lets hope they do their jobs and help us control as much as we can. And if beyond that terror strikes, then the LEAST we can do is have an action plan to ensure that damage/loss to people and property is minimal. You think by now, with riots and blasts every couple of months in almost every major city in India, and most recently in Mumbai - we'd at least have our reaction plans in place. No way! Thats the joke, and its on us. And nobody is laughing.
-Why was the Mumbai police so lost? We dont expect them to be combat forces, but cant they even control mobs of losers that should not be on the streets during a serious combat operation?
-How can the Mumbai police react to terrorists with guns by wearing riot hats and riot jackets? Where was the equipment?
-Why dont we have a force that can react immediately to this kind of episode? Why are they only in Delhi?
-Why is our disaster management plan a disaster? Who controls it? Who should be responsible for every additional life lost?
-Why are our borders so easy to infiltrate?
-Why was there NO SECURITY at the gateway of India?
You know, let the average Mumbaikar now forget the Mumbai spirit - lets turn around to everyone who tells us to go back to normal and say no, this has gotta be fixed. We want a city where we can be safe - and its not really a big demand. Its basic. Its democratic. And if you cant fix it - GO. Stop taking us and our spirit for granted! Redemption will not come from finding out who planned the attack, or bringing those that helped with it to justice - redemption will only occur when Mumbai knows that everybody who works for the city - every politician, minister, wanna be PM, MP, MLA, will do whatever they can to ensure that not another life is going down while they are responsible for us. And if you cant do that - then just dont bother to come to us for votes. Cause honestly we dont care about your agriculture policy if we cant even be safe while we eat a meal.
Right now, I'm watching the reruns about the jai hind shouts when the NSG was leaving Nariman House - its baffles me to see so many people being allowed on the streets while this kind of warfare was on. What is wrong with people? Is this some action movie play? And why cant action be taken to ensure that nobody who is not needed there sits put in a safe place, instead of becoming a public hazard. Its really not a gratifying sight - not sure who to be more irritated with - an entire force that refuses to exercise control over people when its needed the most (yes, i realise the sensitivity of the situation) or over the people, who should have the sense to not be out there and get out of the way. Really!
My thots wander in circles again - and my anger knows nowhere to go but round and round in my head. Tonight will be in prayer. Tomorrow there better be some indication of immediate corrective action.
Lives were lost. That night, I didnt know anyone in either of the hotels, or the CST or Leopolds. Thank God! BUT i do know people who knew people there - who have lost loved ones, children, parents, families, friends, staff, livelihoods and each of them have a story that will affect them for the rest of their lives. And I also know enough people, who like me go to these palces. And this time, I refuse to say that the spirit of Mumbai will prevail caues thats the way we are.. thats just a load of crap. Why do we ignore the reality and go back to our daily business the next day? Why dont we take the time to stop and feel? Its time that this becomes personal to each one of us - we could have been there! Will it only make a difference when it actually happens to us directly?
We blame our ministers for everything - damn it they deserve to be blamed for everything. Whether its the Congress, the BJP, the NDA the whoever, they're all the same. But whoever it is at the center and the state needs to fix this - and I really dont care who. JUST FIX IT.
We cant stop terrorists, they exist and they will strike. Thats what they do. They have their reasons and while it would be great to stop them, we can only control that so much. And whats the point of anti terror laws - u think these fanatics care about speedy death? They are on a suicidal mission, they are there to die, creating mayhem as it comes to them. So then about what we can actually fix - I cant comment on the intelligence agencies and how they work and intercept these missions. Lets hope they do their jobs and help us control as much as we can. And if beyond that terror strikes, then the LEAST we can do is have an action plan to ensure that damage/loss to people and property is minimal. You think by now, with riots and blasts every couple of months in almost every major city in India, and most recently in Mumbai - we'd at least have our reaction plans in place. No way! Thats the joke, and its on us. And nobody is laughing.
-Why was the Mumbai police so lost? We dont expect them to be combat forces, but cant they even control mobs of losers that should not be on the streets during a serious combat operation?
-How can the Mumbai police react to terrorists with guns by wearing riot hats and riot jackets? Where was the equipment?
-Why dont we have a force that can react immediately to this kind of episode? Why are they only in Delhi?
-Why is our disaster management plan a disaster? Who controls it? Who should be responsible for every additional life lost?
-Why are our borders so easy to infiltrate?
-Why was there NO SECURITY at the gateway of India?
You know, let the average Mumbaikar now forget the Mumbai spirit - lets turn around to everyone who tells us to go back to normal and say no, this has gotta be fixed. We want a city where we can be safe - and its not really a big demand. Its basic. Its democratic. And if you cant fix it - GO. Stop taking us and our spirit for granted! Redemption will not come from finding out who planned the attack, or bringing those that helped with it to justice - redemption will only occur when Mumbai knows that everybody who works for the city - every politician, minister, wanna be PM, MP, MLA, will do whatever they can to ensure that not another life is going down while they are responsible for us. And if you cant do that - then just dont bother to come to us for votes. Cause honestly we dont care about your agriculture policy if we cant even be safe while we eat a meal.
Right now, I'm watching the reruns about the jai hind shouts when the NSG was leaving Nariman House - its baffles me to see so many people being allowed on the streets while this kind of warfare was on. What is wrong with people? Is this some action movie play? And why cant action be taken to ensure that nobody who is not needed there sits put in a safe place, instead of becoming a public hazard. Its really not a gratifying sight - not sure who to be more irritated with - an entire force that refuses to exercise control over people when its needed the most (yes, i realise the sensitivity of the situation) or over the people, who should have the sense to not be out there and get out of the way. Really!
My thots wander in circles again - and my anger knows nowhere to go but round and round in my head. Tonight will be in prayer. Tomorrow there better be some indication of immediate corrective action.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
all about circles
i've created my blog today.. and named it and themed it in circles. there's a pretty good reason for that - my thots are all running round in circles today. i wish there was an easier way to tell at least one of these floating bubbles to stop wandering in my head for a bit and settle down - maybe the career one could for today... or maybe thats the one i should focus on - so the one thats confused about my love life could take a break. the financial one will keep me up all night writing more & more gibbrish about circles.. thats what i mean, its one world of rounded thots making my head swirl!
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